Illusion 3: I can’t live without him/her

10 Feb






Nothing can be further from the truth. Many young people have believed this myth for too long to their own peril. Sometimes you hear them say things like: you are my life; I can’t survive without you… Sometimes they say these things in the heat of their emotions. Nevertheless, it doesn’t change the fact that these are just false beliefs.

You see in God’s equation of a wholesome relationship, it takes two complete beings of the opposite sex to form a complete and whole relationship. Two incomplete beings can never form a wholesome relationship. Until you are complete, you are not fit for a relationship. So does it mean to be ‘complete’? To be complete means to be whole. It means to have a healthy sense of self-worth, the kind that makes you confident in yourself, the kind that makes your life worth living with or without a man or woman in your life.

With this kind of wholesome, you are not seeking approval or acceptance from relationship with somebody else. NO. Your acceptance comes from deep within you. You’ve fallen in love with yourself. You are not waiting to have a lover before you are satisfied or happy. NO. Your satisfaction comes from knowing that you have intrinsic value, knowing that you are full of substance on your inside. With this kind of sense of completeness, you see relationship and love as a welcome addition to your life and not as a compulsory accessory without which you can’t be fulfilled.

When you build your life around your lover, you are digging the grave of heartbreak without knowing. Those that think they can’t live without him or her are the ones easily susceptible to frustrations and heartbreaks. Those that have their own life i.e. are whole in themselves are not easily heartbroken because their hearts have been shielded. They are not possessive of the relationship or their lover. So when a man or woman chooses to walk away from their lives, though they feel the pain of loss, though they cry, they don’t get pitiably broken and shattered; they still have their wholeness. They rise up from that point knowing that they have what it takes on their inside to attract a more worthy man into their lives.

If she’s amazing she won’t be easy. If she is easy, she won’t be amazing.

If she is worth it, you won’t give up. If you give up, you are not worthy.



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