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Illusion 2: It doesn’t matter!

illusion

Sometimes we tend to ignore the obvious facts observable to us. Ladies especially, being more emotional in nature, tend to act in ‘denial mode’ i.e. they try to rationalize the character flaws and other signs that point to the fact that something is wrong with the relationship. Many times we see danger ahead but we allow our emotions to get a better part of us. We seem to believe that irrespective of the ‘danger signs’ we see, we can still make the relationship work. The truth is that, deep down on the inside of us we are afraid of losing ‘this sweet thing’ we’ve found. This is true of both of both ladies and men.

‘It doesn’t matter’, they say, ‘what really matter is that we are in love with each other.’ ILLUSION; yes, that’s what it is. How naive! So many marriages, not just relationships now, have hit the rocks today, with most ending in divorce courts because either or both of the partners ignored the warning signs at the cradle of the relationship. And don’t tell me they didn’t fall heads over heels in love with each other at the start. Don’t tell me they didn’t make sweet little promises lovers make for each other when intoxicated with attraction and feelings. Why is it that people rarely learn from history?

This is my point: some relationships can’t just work no matter how strong the feelings are, ASAP! Such relationships will rather give you heart aches and a lot of frustrations. You have to learn how to spot one when it shows up. And it is wisdom to learn to let down the bait and let go the catch when you come across such relationship. So you may want to ask: how do I recognize relationships that can’t work?

Learn to listen to your intuition – that still small voice from the deepest part of you. That voice is always giving us signals when something is not right somewhere. The problem is that most of us have not learnt to listen to it or obey it. Listen to your heart; is it giving you signs of peace or is it showing unrest? Don’t ignore the voice of your heart; that might be your greatest asset in relationship success.

For the records, here are just a few of the warning signals you need to watch out for:

  • He/she frowns or get angry habitually when he/she sees you with another lady/man. He/she didn’t care who you are with or what you’re doing with that person. He/she has a disease called ‘insecurity’. Don’t take that lightly!
  • He/she abuses you verbally, physically or otherwise. He/she doesn’t respect you or your emotions.
  • He/she is addicted to a destructive habit, and you are aware. He/she can’t do without smoking or drinking; or he/she is addicted to drugs; or he/she can’t do without sex…eh! RUN! You will be competing with his/her addiction in his/her heart. And you are sure to take second place!
  • He/she tell lies habitually. And he/she always give excuses to cover up his inconsistencies.
  • He/she complain, murmur and nag always and about almost anything. He/she is dissatisfied with life and living.

“There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.”
Nietzsche

Join me in the next post as we explore another illusion: ‘I can’t live without him/her.’

 

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